the weer-jin

I love to dance. I need to dance. I'm way too old to go clubbing but I don't give a shit. Sometimes the night goes swimmingly: great music, good crowd, cool venue. Sometimes it doesn't: self indulgent DJ, douchebag patrons, and bad sound systems.

Friday night was a good one. I danced like a mf until nearly 2am. Before I'd even gotten into my car, I was mentally compiling a list of guys I could hit up. It would have to be a blow job as I was on the last couple days of my period. I couldn't really get excited at the prospect of any of my usual dudes, quite frankly. I was resigned to going straight home but then found myself exiting the freeway and heading toward the ocean. The weather had been brutally hot and sometimes the only place with a cool breeze is the beach.

As I smoked a couple of cigarettes, I thought I'd see if there were any possibilities on Craigslist's Casual Encounters. In the past, CL has been a bonanza of opportunity for me. I've met guys with whom I regularly hooked up for years. I met my longtime FWB there. Without CL, a huge chunk of sexual experience would most likely never have happened for me.

On this night, there wasn't much happening on Craigslist besides the usual. I refreshed the page one last time before planning to take my leave of the beach, and a new ad appeared at the second from the top of the list. A 20 year- old virgin who'd never done anything sexual, wanted “ANY female for whatever”. He didn't care about age, looks, or body type. And oh, look, he's right in my area. It's around 3:00a.m. at this point so I send a response via e-mail:

“Any girl,huh? My, we r horny. If ur a skinny white or Latino guy, text a pic. I dont have Snapchat”

He responded within ten minutes. He was understandably wary about sending pics but while the physical attributes might not matter to him, they do to me. Here are the texts:

Him: hey so you don't have a snapchat?

Me: I disabled it. Hated it. Got pics? Dont b paranoid lol

Him: lol well I wouldn't wanna send one if it's not thru there😂trust me I am paranoid

Me: Describe urself then

Him: 6'2 skinny and white just like you described oddly enough. do you have any pics?

Me: Yes, but u said it didnt matter. Is that bullshit?

Him: no like it actually doesn't matter, I'd actually rather not have someone that's hot or anything because then I'd probably be nervous lmao

Me: I'm a bbw cougar older than your mother... so what are you into?

Him: I'm down for anything

(I text him a few pics)

Him: you're just what I wanted

Me: Not sure if i should b insulted. Lol. Face pic?

Him: no that's a compliment, I just won't be nervous because I'm not talking to a super model

Me: True. At the risk of TMI, im on my period but would b down to blow u

Him: I'm not comfortable sending pictures, I know it sounds fishy but I'm just a regular 20 year old who's horny 24/7

Him: yes I'm so down. I've never gotten a bj or anything so this will be the best experience so far

Me: Maybe u shouldnt then, not all bj's will b able to measure up haha. Where r u. Wanna meet in a dark spot or i could pick u up

So he suggested a spot (funnily enough, about a mile and a half from where I live), I finally got a look at him (adorable), and we parked on a nearby side street where I proceeded to make his skinny legs shake. I wonder if he'd jerked-off right before our rendezvous because he lasted a surprisingly long time under my expert tongue. After my inner cumslut was sated, we hugged and off he loped into the night. Mission accomplished.